Does it get to you?
Today has been yet another fairly naff August day. Especially for a bank holiday, despite the BBC protestations that memory is temporal (it is) and that this August hasn’t been that bad.,.I’m sorry it has. We had a summer for a couple of weeks in May and the week I went walking I can’t thank enough for being lovely. But this is summer… Balmy evenings in beer gardens have made way for grey windy bangers and mash fests whilst looking glum out at the dark skies at 8.20pm.
I’ve not had a brilliant day. I’ve been busy as usual and been devising plans for work and trying to sort out a few things that free up time for during the week (that is code for: I’ve resorted to working on work stuff on my day off…)
I think I’ve had a pretty glum day because sometimes you get e-mails that are just out and out rude for no reason. Electronic communication has really introduced an uncouth barbarism that hasn’t necessarily been there for the average personal conversation in person, telephone or even in a letter. I do by and large fend it off with good humour and try to resolve good criticism from any well, critical e-mail but it’s almost as if I got two today that were worded such that they would dig right in under my skin.
And actually for nigh on 5 minutes they worked, I began to have doubts about what I pour virtually all I have got into. I can’t work out in my mind why some people really do love to kick you in the proverbial shins? What motivates someone to rather than be constructive, to be out and out rude and derogatory? I’m only a human, I was born helpless, will die helpless and I’m probably quite helpless in the in between bit (that’s what I’m doing now, the in between bit 
) — I’m not perfect in any way. All I can ever do in life is do my best, and I do bloody well do that. I give everything 100%, yet a couple of people (I have my suspicion the same person with a bee under their bonnet as they were closely timed and similar language used) really seem to have themselves on a pedestal and for a few minutes took the wind from my peaceful sails.
Well anyway, I didn’t dignify the e-mails with a response, and I’ll keep on plugging away, that’s what I do best because I do get results and I do work hard. I know my heart is in the right place, and maybe in time it will show even more so.
Anyway, I guess I’ve just done a fair bit of learning this month, what with a week of having more or less complete solitude in my thoughts. Clears your mind, makes you realise what you have, what you got to do, and more importantly and stronger understanding of yourself. I’ll quite happily stand up when pot calls kettle black now!
